The very, very least thing a parent should be able to do is to get their kid to graduate. I mean, how hard can it be, right? You send them to school and you make sure they do their work. Isn’t that how it is supposed to be? Then explain to me why I spend every single morning crying and fighting with a kid who just won’t go to school. I have done everything they suggest in the damn parenting books. I have taken him to doctors and therapists. Are we going to have to do this for the 6th year next year? I know that the Aspergers makes things difficult. I get it. But should it make it impossible? What can I do for this kid? What kind of life is he going to have? I feel like I am failing him in so many ways and I can’t seem to get through to him.
So another day missed and I don’t know at this point if it is too late to salvage the year. What are the options? I can’t just give up on him. I can’t just let him throw away his life. But I am so tired of this fight. And I can’t seem to win even the smallest battle.
Please don’t tell me about incentives or punishments. I have tried them all and they have failed. I am just wallowing for a bit before I dig myself out and try all over again. I think the stress allows for the occasional wallowing.

my charming kids gave to me…stress and a headache. Seriously. How difficult is it to just get up and go to school? Yes, I realize that you have challenges that most kids don’t. I know that it’s harder for you. But it isn’t impossible. Rise to the f-ing challenge once in a while.
I feel like my head is going to explode. Between my ineffective parenting skills and the nonsense people are spewing online, my morning has me ready to screech.
And those resolutions? Eh. Not that great. I did go running. And I have tried to eat better. Projects are getting accomplished. Hmm. I guess there are some resolutions that are getting kept. Smile more. I will have to try harder. And not saying mean things? Well that’s right out the window. But we all need a hobby now, don’t we?
I am still arguing with the boy to get him to school. Once he is there I should clean up and get things ready for a welcome visit from an old friend. But I am fairly sure I will settle in for some knitting and netflix to calm my nerves. What? It’s medicinal Netflix.

and that means it’s time to rock the resolutions. In general, I hate resolutions but then damn, there goes my “think more positive thoughts” resolution right off the top of the list. I guess January is the Monday of the year. The month where we all set out to be the better version of ourselves - the Pinterest idea, HGTV organized, yoga going, healthy eating, project finishing, magazine version of ourselves. Sure it can be done. But then there’s the doing it. I am good at the planning it. Even occasionally decent at the visualizing it. But the doing it? That requires not napping. And naps? I can excel at those. Sure, in my head I’m canning food, prepping meals for the month in advance, organizing every nook and cranny of the house, volunteering, knitting, spinning, making homemade gifts and cards - all while jogging to and from yoga classes.
But…then I realize that every single episode of Parks and Recreation is available to me on Netflix and I figure that relaxing is good too.
So, here’s my list, just in case the cable goes out and I’m forced to do something other than peruse Netflix.
1. smile more. yeah, it seems simple but 2012 kicked my ass
2. exercise - I’m not being specific here but a little more running. a lot more yoga. walking the pups. just general non-Netflix activity
3. knitting - finish some projects. learn a new technique. finish that gorgeous sweater…and the other one too
4. spinning - make some useful yarn and then….yeah…use it!
5. get more organized and less scattered - complete some projects without getting distracted because…oooh wait…I think I forgot to check something online…
6. cooking - less with the take out and more with the actual food. this should help with the oldest and most cliched of all resolutions…..
7. lose some damn weight - I know. I know. This one is top of everyone’s list but with comfort food season upon us it gets harder and harder. So I will trudge off to Pinterest (I say, as if this were actual exercise) and find some recipes that don’t include a pound of cheese and a layer of bacon. hmmm….that sounds kind of good right now……

And to start things off - my five things I’m grateful for (which I might post daily, or monthly, or whenever I feel like it and it makes me happy)
1. Netflix (couldn’t resist and am now giggling so totally worth it)
2. the house is completely de-xmased. I love how the house looks cleaner than usual when the elf is off the shelf for the season
3. new recipes
4. old friends
5. a snuggly pup

So today’s the day we find out if RA Dickey gets the recognition he deserves. Too many people shrugging him off. He deserves it. And Mets fans everywhere are crossing their fingers and toes and holding their breath waiting to find out. Me? I could use some good news. And this would be great news. If it came with a contract announcement that would be even better news :)
Almost finished making my teeny tiny tardis scarf. Should be able to knock it out this afternoon. My brilliant plan for using a teapot to hold the yarn? Not so brilliant when you want to bring it somewhere. I don’t want to cut the yarn so looks like I will be traveling about with a teapot in tow.
Caught up with a good friend last night. Cleared the air about things that had come between us for far too long. Feels better but oddly sad. There are things you can’t change. You can make them better and rebuild but sometimes the damage is irreversible. I hope that that is not the case but I’m not sure. We’ll see how the next few weeks go and if anything is different.

Skipped a few days (so much for NaBloPoMo) but here’s my five for today:
1. Lunch and squishy yarns with my sister!
2. mini boston cream donuts
3. Cy Young anticipation
4. successful ebay sniping for a great xmas surprise!
5. amends, even if late, mean something

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously. I can’t even begin to write out the reasons for my annoyance and retain friends.

but let’s have a go at 5 for today:
1. the ability to block posts on FB
2. the ability to block posts on FB
3. the ability to block posts on FB
4. Halloween candy
5. the ability to block posts on FB

stress eating? me?

gonna be hard to get back into the swing of things tomorrow. not looking forward to the morning screaming, stomping and tears and the kids are probably going to be grouchy as well. it was both great and annoying to have a week of family together time. i realize that i’m stretching out a post tonight just to get one in but writing is writing.

so here’s the knitting update - cause i know it’s thrilling:
almost done with first half of tardis scarf and ready to move on to making teeny tiny tardises (tardi?)
realized this afternoon while freezing at game that i need to make mittens with fingers. love the fingerless gloves but brrr
j asked for a sweater. good thing he’s stopped growing so it will fit him when i finish it in 3-4 years

and my 5 things:
1. baseball over for one team. yes, he loves it but this season was overbooked and it is getting cold
2. watching j research candidates for his first time voting. very proud. and happy that he came to same conclusions as me :)
3. most of family warm and cozy again and sis has generator to get her through
4. rewatching some buffy and angel with a friend. comfort food at its best
5. woobies. made corn heating bags and a sweater for hot water bottle. everyone is comfy and cozy

Sitting in front of the fire, watching a movie, I feel like I should be doing something for friends and family that are still without power. But have you met my family? They’re a bit stubborn. And we are campers. We aren’t going to let a little thing like power make us leave our homes. So…I am here. They are there. And I know that they’re safe and sound. But I also know that they wouldn’t leave to come stay here unless a meteor hit and even then? They would be setting up camp on the property somewhere.
I also have guilt cause I used the hurricane to get out of Red Box late fees. Ok, I couldn’t take them back during the hurricane but still. It’s not like I had any plans to either.
So there you have it. Guilt. Also, I’m really tired and I’m not cooking. So, yeah. There’s that too.

Five for today:
1. yoga class this morning. even without power in the building!
2. warm fire
3. comfy sweats and nowhere to be
4. breakfast for dinner
5. long afternoon of knitting and movies

all through the hurricane i was so grateful for facebook because i knew that my friends and family were ok. i knew when power was out or coming back. i knew when the kids had school. it was a great resource.
but tonight i am just grateful that i have the restraint to not comment on every post. i have to keep shaking my head and reminding myself that freedom of speech even applies to vapid simpletons.

watching a little buffy. it’s like comfort food after a long day.

five for today:
1. i managed not to respond in a way that would lose me friends to posts of facebook
2. halloween candy that probably won’t make it til rescheduled halloween
3. movies with the boys
4. getting back to normal after hurricane
5. buffy….always buffy

Hurricane Sandy roared through here and we survived. Some trees down, some damage done but we survived. But during the long hours of sitting around staring at each other by candle light I decided it was a perfect time to work on some projects. I knit a cabled cover for our hot water bottle (which came in handy when heat was out), stitched a few handkerchiefs, and sewed a few corn bag heating pads. Yes, I know that sounds a bit odd but trust me there’s nothing like them for keeping everyone toasty and warm on cold nights. Also, mine is scented with lavendar so yay for one that smells great and boys won’t steal.
As with every other November I am going to attempt NaBloPoMo. Who knows how it will go. But I’ll give it a go. That probably means much knitting, baseball, crafting writing but at least it’s writing.

Also - the five things I am grateful for today:
1. That we are safe and sound after a scary storm
2. The popping and cracking of a warm fire
3. Lots of board games and family time
4. Power on so no more board games and family time ;)
5. A surprise chance to catch up with a good friend

I’ve put in my time under the impression that we were volunteering for the kids. I was wrong. So…you wanna take your problem with me out on my kid? Bring it on. You haven’t begun to see what I am capable of when I’m angry. Glad to see evidence that I’m not the only one that sees this for what it is. I know I’m going to take the blame for the little stunt last night. You know what? I don’t care. I would have done it.
I didn’t start this but I’m done playing nice. It’s on.